Beth Spotswood (whose day job seems to be writing 38% of the blog content in San Francisco) is to be adored. In addition to having a Wikipedia entry and coming to Tendernights, she also allowed herself to descend to the depths of quiz night at Edinburgh Castle despite being at a post quiz night time in her life:

I have a penchant for the 1990′s, all television, medical oddities, long-term kidnappings, local history, current teen interest, celebrities and serial killers.

It’s a good read that includes what I assume to be the dream of any American girl when it comes to a man from Amsterdam:

Les and I enjoyed breaks from the Dutch every time a woman approached the bar to order a drink, because their attention would instantly be diverted to the fresh meat. This whole fiasco would have been entertaining to watch, had we not been their convenient back-up plan.

Oh dear. Mayhaps the rumors of the Tenderloin becoming the Trendyloin are true? According to SF Grubstreet, there’ll be a spiffy lounge with an outdoor terrace (brrr!) coming to 620 Jones Street in September. Yes, the same Jones Street which is plagued by nearly non-stop fire engine sirens. Sounds like fun, eh? I know there’s nothing I like more than paying for overpriced drinks while shivering outside and shouting over street noise. Add in some uncomfortable shoes and you’ve got hell-on-heels.

The chef at the new joint, which will be called Jones, is said to be Ola Fendert of Oola. That’s a little fancy-pants for this part of SF, but apparently Jones co-owners Peter Glikshtern and Jeff Whitemore are going to aim to keep it upscale yet mellow. Glikshtern, in case you didn’t know, has some actual street cred. He was opening businesses in the Mission in the 90s and once knocked out three thugs in a fight. I couldn’t find much on Whitemore but I’m guessing if he gets out of line, Glikshtern can beat him back in.

Many years ago, at my first job out of college, a guy I worked at made an extremely valiant attempt to drink at every bar in San Francisco. He did this as he had drank at every bar in Berkeley and he liked his goals to be within reach and alcoholic in nature. I’m not sure if he ever finished this noble pursuit, but as far as I’ve heard, he’s still working on it.

It appears that this girl is following in his footsteps and doing what others haven’t even realized that they’ve done in that she has nearly sloshed her way through all the Tenderloin bars. Albeit, she has a rather strict definition of what bars she’s including so the list is bound to be smaller than that of my former coworker’s. She appears to have dug on Koko so I fully support her in her drinking efforts and striving to beat her dastardly liver in to submission.

Word has just come in that a new show is opening at the always awesome Cafe Royale. The reception is this Thursday, June 3rd, starting at 20:00 which means that everyone will probably show up at 23:00. I have no idea if this is going to radically suck if you don’t like hipsters or be radically awesome if you don’t like hipsters. In case you didn’t guess, I don’t like hipsters. But, instead of blathering about, I’ll just let the event speak for itself:

Hipster Apocalypse
Cafe Royale
Thurs. June 3rd, 8 pm – Late
800 Post St,
San Francisco, CA

Artists include (several hipsters): Megan Wolfe, Teppei Ando, Kevin Buckley, Mario Delgado, Albert Nguyen, Tamar Solomon, Marcus Thiele, David Young V

Hipster joke: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? What, you don’t know?
Although hipsters have existed in one form or another for decades, the hipster movement has become ironically more main stream, influencing the American status quo by supporting alternative art, music, and fashion. Like an epidemic, the hipster condition has spread across America and over the seas to Japan and other countries susceptible to American culture. We see hipsters every day riding their fixed-gear bicycles on their way to studying film at local art schools. They drink the most expensive coffee and the cheapest beer. Imagine a world where alternative culture is pop culture; a world where Vampire Weekend plays the half time show at the Super Bowl instead of Bruce Springsteen; a world where stores selling used records and clothing are as large and as common as Walmart. The purpose of this show is to create awareness of the hipster way and the rise in demand for outrageous mustaches, vacuum sealed jeans, high-school sports tee shirts, and the over-consumption of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Found this over on a site called Public Nudity. Apparently it’s happening at the Deco Lounge down on Larkin & Turk. For me, it’s a lot like a gory car crash in that I can’t help but stare despite the insanity of it, especially at the dude on the far right. He weirds me out like in a Ronald McDonald smiling kind of way.

I had mentioned Koko’s Cocktails awhile back, but had forgotten one minor detail in that every first Friday of the month, they do Bacon & Bourbon night. Yeah, in case you were wondering, “Hmm, how can I totally enjoy a one-two punch to both my heart and liver without going to McDonald’s?” here you go. Seeing as how I don’t drink liquor and am a much more refined gentleman who enjoys the secrets of the grape, I’ll have to pass, but for those of you looking for a good time, head on down. As shown by the comments in that original article, folks really dig on the Koko.

(Thanks again to Tablehopper for reminding me of this. I will try to do better next time, although I break promises like I break hearts.)

I was unaware as to whom Harmon Leon was until reading this “article” (the quotes are for the op-ededness of it):

There’s always the old, cranky bartender at Ha Ra Club in the Tenderloin. Carl–the bartender has kicked people out for playing pool too loud or ordering a margarita. (“We don’t serve that fancy s**t in here!”) As the evening wears on, he’ll openly make fun of you. Personally, I think he puts on the mean, cranky bartender schtick for the tourists because some guidebook must have said the Ha Ra has a mean, cranky bartender.

Admittedly I’ve never actually been to Ha Ra, so I have no idea if this is actually the case or not or is this dude just has an article quota to write each week, since the tone of the whole thing is a bit lame and watery. And I don’t know why Red Stripe pisses me off. Probably because it’s a hipster beer and I don’t like hipsters. That and I don’t think it’s a particularly good beer.

Anyways, feel free to chime in if this is the case or there are other crappy bartenders out there in the Loin who will kick you in groin for ordering a Red Bull and vodka, because I just might want to go to those places.

It appears that Pink Diamonds (home of cap in the ass busting) is apparently going to be the new home of the Power Exchange as CW Nevius reports on The Chron. This apparently came as news to everyone around, including the San Francisco City Academy next door. Probably not the most pleasant of thoughts to think that K-8 graders will soon have the potential to monitor the City’s finest pervs.

I think one of the best quotes in the whole article is this:

…and if you were a world-class optimist, you might say that the Power Exchange is an improvement. Although the sex club has been controversial, it hasn’t had the outbreaks of violence that made Pink Diamonds notorious.

I couldn’t agree more. Sticky seats and funky humpin’ beats kill-y bullets any day.

I know how it is, in that Valentine’s Day just kinda sucks. Doesn’t matter who you are, because if you’re single going in, it’s a recipe for disaster. I say avoid it altogether and just get drunk instead with or without friends. After all, you might actually stand a better chance of some get-some if you’re not actually looking for said get-some.

If you decide to go this route, there are a great many bars in the Loin lose yourself in quite happily, especially as it seems hipsterdom is on a teensy, tiny decline in the neighborhood. I might be so bold to suggest Koko Cocktails while I’m at it. I’ve been meaning to mention this bar for awhile as my neighbor is one of the owners and it’s a cool place. As to why go for Valentine’s? Why not? It’s there, they serve booze, and you need booze. Oh yeah, it’s also at the 38 & 38L stop on Van Ness in case your drunken romance needs a little public transportation to get home for the get-some.

I was told that Koko will also have some yet-to-be-announced drink specials as well for the day, so keep an eye out.

Both tenderblogette and myself enjoy the travel-travel and as such, we’re on CouchSurfing. It’s not really to host so much as to meet fellow travelers, since the hosting thing got old after the 6,000+ emails I’d get each week from a group of 4 or more people looking for a free place. On the flipside, when trying to get hosting in Paris, no one was willing to put up either, so if you’re looking to freeload places to stay, it’s not a good site for that. It is good for a traveler’s community though, and they do a lot in San Francisco.

That said, tonight, at Cafe Royale CS is having one of their social events called, Underground. I’ve no idea if it will be like totally out of control-insane-whack, but it’s an event at a bar in the Loin with drink specials and we all like drink specials if nothing else. Won’t be able to make it myself as I’m out of town, but for those around, maybe it’s worth a check out and see. Enjoy.